Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Day Two: A Day of Nausea

Over the course of the last month, I have gone through some incredible life changes and there is nothing else for me to do than to document every moment of it.

Here is a slight recap of those extraordinary (and when I say extraordinary I really mean shitty as all hell) events:

October 13, 2012 - I quit smoking (again) the day before I turned the big 3-0!
October 14, 2012 - I turned 30. Enough said.
October 27, 2012 - Fired from my job of 8 years by my Adolph Hitler of a Store Manager.  Oh and not alone, with 4 of my coworkers because one customer apparently complained to corporate.  Really?!
November 6, 2012 - Election Day - I stopped my anti-depressants, though picked up my new bottle of Xanex from the pharmacy, just in case. 

(Even Beatrice does tricks for Xanex...)

Which leads me to today.  

Not only do I have absolutely nothing to do other than to rake the 8 billion (times infinity) leaves that have fallen on my property, but all I want to do is step outside and light up an disgusting tasting cancer stick and puff my life's troubles away.  Who would have known that I would quit 14 days before I needed them the most.  *sigh*

Day 2 of being off my meds is always the hardest day for me.  I always want to just run to the cupboard and pop a pill in my mouth and make this shaky, vertigo-esque feeling go away. And the crying is off the charts.  I thought about unemployment today in the shower and began weeping.  I mean, it is pretty depressing.  I have experienced "Day Two" so many times by accident.  Forgetting to take my meds for a day gives me a full blown Day Two.  I would usually curb that by taking a pill and a two or three hour nap and waking to find that I am having no more side effects.  Ugh...not today.  I am going to be feeling like this for a hot minute.  

These sweatpants are not leaving my body today. Neither is this ungodly comfortable hoodie.  Is it a day to lay in bed and be a complete sloth on humanity? I am going to say yes to this.

1 comment:

  1. Stick with it, the best way to see the world is through a clean and clear mind and an open heart