Thursday, November 8, 2012

Me, myself, and my equilibrium

Day 3 has gone off with out a hitch.

It's a whopping 45 degrees out and the sun is shining!  It decided to peak through the window onto the living room floor earlier, so I decided to lay in the sliver of light soaking in the Vitamin D. Of course, Lincoln, my fuzzy little black cat, followed suit and laid with me. I love when black cats lay in the sun and are instantly brown.  Like it's an optical illusion or something.  Oh, you're not really a black cat? Way to trick me with your hair color tomfoolery.

Bob Dylan, My Sick Boy with the pretty eyes
I have three black cats by the way.  Lincoln lives at my parents house while Bob Dylan and Lucy live with me. Dylan has been incredibly sick lately. He has these crunchy, disgusting, sores all over his neck and head. He also likes to puke whatever he puts in his system. When I took him to the vet she told me to change his food and be on my way.  I paid you $100 to tell me to change his food to prescription vet food that I can't afford?  Hmmm... sounds kind of like a BIGFATGIGANTIC scam to me.

Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds -
 Do you see those damn claws in my thigh?

Lucy, however, annoys the ever living daylights out of me.  She is the kind of cat that not only talks to you all the time, but she also rubs her butt on you whenever possible. Especially when you are going to the bathroom.  As soon as she hears me walk in there it is like "What? Mom's going pee?  I am soooo getting a butt rub!"  And if you give her affection, the talking increases.  Muffled, purring, cries of kittiness.  I also pick her nose.  Yup, I said it.  I pick her nose.  For some reason every fuzzy piece of dust on the planet lodges itself directly into her nostrils. So I help a girl out and take care of her business for her.  I know she is grateful in her own kitty way. Maybe that is why she rubs her butt all over me.
Sometimes I wonder what she would be like as a human? Would she still have this ass-fetish?  Awkward.

The phone just rang and it was Alanna's school calling:
"Hi, we have Alanna here wanting to speak to you. Would you like to talk to her?"
No. No I wouldn't. Really? You have to ask?  
"Yes, of course."
"Hi, Mom?"
"Hey birdy, what's going on?"
"Yeah so my asthma is really bugging me. It hurts super bad in my solar plexus."
What ten year old talks like this, honestly? 
"Honey, I'm sorry you're feeling bad, but it's not something to come home over. Go back to class and we will discuss it when you get home okay?"
"Okay Mom. Love your face. Bye!"
This warrants a phone call? And who complains about their solar plexus?  WTH?! My daughter is so strange sometimes and I have absolutely no idea where she would ever get it from.

Time for a nap I think. I could go rake my 8 billion leaves, but my bed sounds so much better. Especially when I feel like I am just going to fall over.  Oooo, I could fall over in the leaves....

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