Saturday, November 10, 2012

The Cosby Kids

Day 5. One incredible day.  I had highs, and lows, and moments where I was doubled over, dying laughing, & not breathing while my abs were screaming at me because they needed oxygen.

I woke up to Alanna wiggling both Home Alone and Home Alone 2: Lost in New York under my nose.

"Ohhh Mommmm... Look what I have...."
Ugh. What is it?! Ooooooo! Home Alone. I'm up! I'm up!
"Well that's one way to get me out of bed, isn't it?"
"I know your weaknesses."
Who is this kid?  Pinning me between laying in my warm bed and watching Home Alone?  HOW WONDERFUL!
Uh, Mom? What is that?

She points to my sheets and I drowsily roll over and then shudder and scoot out of bed with a squeal.
What the %^&* is it?!
Laying amidst my sheets, probably touching me all damn night was a brown nugget of wonder.  And two little nugget remnants.  WTF?  I don't know what it is.

Instantly the following dialog happened:
"Mom, did you push a fart out too hard?"
"Did Bea drop off the Cosby kids IN MY BED?"
"We slept with a creepy poo nugget? Really?"
"Wait, wait...."
Alanna made certain not to touch it.
I had to get down close.  A) Because I am a mother and we have to smell foreign objects to figure out what they are.  Even when it's poo.  B) Because I wasn't exactly convinced someone crapped in my bed.
And it wasn't crap after all. It was an apple core... and the apple butt... and a seed. What the mother scratching eff was it doing in my bed? I am still not sure, but I know that I am disturbed and slightly scarred from this event.  What a successful morning.

We watched Home Alone (not the sequel) in our jammies away from the poo bed.

Tonight was nothing short of the same as this morning.  We cried with laughter 36 different times.

"Mom, decide between The Grinch, Elf, and The Santa Clause."
The third one is definitely out.  And while I love me some Will Ferrell.. a lot... I decided on my second favorite Christmastime movie.
"Go Grinchy or go home."

What a damn perfect day. No agenda, one poo in my bed, and my bird spoiling me with two Christmas movies.  I've created a monster.... my favorite monster EVER!

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