Tonight was NOT an "I love you" night. I called my brother Scott to check on some things in the weeks ahead. He asked what was new and I told him how I'm 95% sure my wrist is fractured. He told me to go get it looked at like a big brother should say. I asked him what dates he is coming home from Christmas. BAM! Out of nowhere Lucy decides to frantically run up and across my ankle, shin, knee, & inner thigh. I yell out in pain, not sure what to say or what to do after that so I mutter a "hold on" into the phone as I set it down and start saying "Owww, owww, owww, owwww." repeatedly like it is going to hurt less if I keep saying it. Meanwhile I bust my pants off and my leg is gushing with blood. From multiple places!! WTF?!
"The cat....just clawed... my leg off."
"Lucy just.... hightailed..... across my leg.... and I think we need to amputate.
Nooooo. Not Ted Nugent references. Sigh.
Needless to say, I called my brother back and apologized for being such an uber-sissy over the phone. He suggested de-clawing the cat. I suggested to euthanize her. It is cheaper.